I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
