I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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