I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think people are normalizing furries
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
