You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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