She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
