im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
