WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
