dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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