Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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