bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
