is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
