i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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