Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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