none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
