Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize