Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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