I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
