Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
