i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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