is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
