I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
