we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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