it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
