The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
