is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
