I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
