We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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