it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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