you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
