A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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