I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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