I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
