you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
