You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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