8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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