Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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