I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
