Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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