I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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