She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
