any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
