He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
