I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
