I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
