I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
