I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
