That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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