We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I party with great urgency now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
