You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
