is your mom at the bar?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh god the rape fog is back!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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