i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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