theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Terrible idea I love it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize