I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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