between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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