Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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