Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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