yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i think i have herpe
just one?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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