you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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