that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
