u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
