I hate your face
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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