You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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