Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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