Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
