its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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